PETA and the new “land puppies” campaign

by Wayne Mumford on November 18, 2008

After reading about the PETA “sea kittens” ad campaign over at BWTF I actually wanted to puke. So, for nearly making me sick from the effects of human stupidity I decided that I needed to say something for the rest of us that still understand how life on earth works with a new campaign of our own.

Its called the Land Puppies campaign. Land Puppies have in the past been referred to as deer, from the family Cervidae. But because we are using metaphors to further confuse the issue, sanitize things, and make it so PETA members can understand, we’ll use Land Puppies. Also for PETA members I will also include a brief primer on carnivores, herbivores, and omnivores. Here’s a picture of Land Puppies that PETA members are probably familiar with.

In the wild, deer are hunted and eaten by animals called carnivores- meat eaters. Where I live there are a number of carnivores that hunt, kill (yes, they kill) and eat deer, mainly those cute little bears, coyotes, wolves and mountain lions. In case you don’t believe me, here’s a picture.

Poor little Land Puppy.

Where I live humans also hunt Land Puppies. Humans by nature are omnivores, which means they eat literally everything; plants and animals alike. Some humans don’t eat animals anymore, they are called herbivores or vegetarians.  This makes them unfit for consumption by carnivores because the usually don’t provide enough nutrients and energy transfer to make them worth the trouble. However, carnivores will still kill herbivores just on principle; because thats what they do to make a living.

Here’s a picture of a pair of Land Puppies that humans have killed to eat. Mmmmm, tasty Land Puppies.

The Land Puppies campaign is about the right for us and our children, if we care to; to freely go out and shoot and kill the deer of our choice without someones lame brain notions about societal reform that denies our natural instinct to go out and hunt with the rest of the carnivores of the world.

Now that I have put the Land Puppies campaign in motion, I need to get out and slaughter a few freaking “Sea Kittens”; not because I’m hungry but because its the only thing that will relieve the indigestion I still have from the silly assed “Sea Kittens” campaign. And if I see a Land Puppy along the way I will damn sure do my part for the campaign.

The PETAphilians attack Montana (1/11/08)

Bargain Cave 468x60

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Jon January 9, 2009 at 9:29 am

This is great. I think you speak for everyone with this post. Those PETA people have totally lost touch with reality. We have a news article today in Montana about PETA trying to get Whitefish, MT to change it’s highschool to Sea Kitten High. I mean I don’t even have a response to that. Don’t these people realize that sea kittens eat other sea kittens? Anyhow, thanks for the laugh!

Jon January 9, 2009 at 9:30 am

Here is the post of the news article for Whitefish, MT

Jon January 9, 2009 at 10:19 am

Okay, this is the last post, but I thought anyone that enjoyed this post would enjoy the irony of this news article. I have dubbed “The Dark Side of PETA”

Wayne Mumford January 10, 2009 at 10:21 am

Thanks for the links Jon- stay tuned, these idiots have a lot of gall showing up on our home turf- not in our house baby, the game’s on…

This link from the Interlake posts the complete story-

Paul January 12, 2009 at 1:22 pm

I heard about this “sea kitten” campaign on a local radio station this morning. The DJ’s thought it was ridiculous and so do I. My thought about this stupid campaign is this: Since cats love to eat fish, does this mean we have to refer to them as cannibals? I can already see an ad saying, “Your kitten will love the taste of sea kitten flavored kitten chow.” BTW, love your story, Wayne.

firebird June 20, 2009 at 1:21 pm

PETA is completly out of touch with reality their going streight into the middle of STUPIDLAND where brains are no longer used and where the stupidists are allowed to run the land and where PETA is consitered common sense

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