PETA and the new “land puppies” campaign

After reading about the PETA “sea kittens” ad campaign over at BWTF I actually wanted to puke. So, for nearly making me sick from the effects of human stupidity I decided that I needed to say something for the rest of us that still understand how life on earth works with a new campaign of our own.

Its called the Land Puppies campaign. Land Puppies have in the past been referred to as deer, from the family Cervidae. But because we are using metaphors to further confuse the issue, sanitize things, and make it so PETA members can understand, we’ll use Land Puppies. Also for PETA members I will also include a brief primer on carnivores, herbivores, and omnivores. Here’s a picture of Land Puppies that PETA members are probably familiar with.

In the wild, deer are hunted and eaten by animals called carnivores- meat eaters. Where I live there are a number of carnivores that hunt, kill (yes, they kill) and eat deer, mainly those cute little bears, coyotes, wolves and mountain lions. In case you don’t believe me, here’s a picture.

Poor little Land Puppy.

Where I live humans also hunt Land Puppies. Humans by nature are omnivores, which means they eat literally everything; plants and animals alike. Some humans don’t eat animals anymore, they are called herbivores or vegetarians.  This makes them unfit for consumption by carnivores because the usually don’t provide enough nutrients and energy transfer to make them worth the trouble. However, carnivores will still kill herbivores just on principle; because thats what they do to make a living.

Here’s a picture of a pair of Land Puppies that humans have killed to eat. Mmmmm, tasty Land Puppies.

The Land Puppies campaign is about the right for us and our children, if we care to; to freely go out and shoot and kill the deer of our choice without someones lame brain notions about societal reform that denies our natural instinct to go out and hunt with the rest of the carnivores of the world.

Now that I have put the Land Puppies campaign in motion, I need to get out and slaughter a few freaking “Sea Kittens”; not because I’m hungry but because its the only thing that will relieve the indigestion I still have from the silly assed “Sea Kittens” campaign. And if I see a Land Puppy along the way I will damn sure do my part for the campaign.

The PETAphilians attack Montana (1/11/08)

Tagged as: PETA