Presidential campaign critically elevates Greenhouse Gasses

An interesting aside to the story about Nessie and Loch Ness, scientists have noticed a dramatic rise in green house gasses during this election year.

It appears that areas that are receiving the most campaign activity are also seeing huge spikes in green house gas levels. Initially scientists thought that most of the gas emissions were associated primarily with the GOP candidate but it appears now that the combined measurements taken from areas frequented by the Democratic candidates is nearly equal to those of the GOP.

Scientists suspect that recent anatomical changes displayed by the candidates could be playing a part. It appears that huge amounts of pressure appear to be forcing the upper cranium areas in, while massive build ups of carbon dioxide trying to escape are expanding the cheek and mouth areas to the point of bursting.

Campaign managers continue to ignore the scientists warnings citing that they are only theories and they have no credibility till the EPA, FDA and Homeland Security have had time to review the information and make a decision based on their recommendations. Scientists fear that if one of the candidates should “lock”, or fail to to release this pressure, the results could be catastrophic.

The theories and scenarios vary but this same group of scientists believe that while certain individuals can withstand various amounts of these pressures there is also the threat of outside influences, a terrorist attack for instance. A terrorist could easily launch an attack with a Bic pen exploding the candidate instantly. Scientists have begun work on a “valve” to safely relieve the pressure but Congress won’t pass a bill to further fund research so that project is currently at a stand still.

Note: The President has now classified sharp, pointed objects as WMD’s. Any country harboring this new class of WMD’s will be considered part of the “Axis of Evil” and dealt with accordingly.