Loch Ness Monster missing, presumed dead

After all these years of eluding cameras, contraptions and people, “Nessie” the Loch Ness monster may have fallen to the insidious evil, “global warming”. Robert Rines who has pursued the creature in the Loch for 37 years and is about to give up the hunt, fears that “Nessie” might have succumbed to the effects of global warming and drifted to the bottom of the lake. Its down there on the bottom that he hopes to concentrate his last effort of finding the final resting place of the famous serpent.

In light of this, fears are that this global catastrophe is much more advanced than even Al Gore anticipated. Rumor has it Gore is already at work on another publicity campaign, touring and selling “Nessie” t-shirts to help raise money to bring an end to the effects of “green house gasses”.